Have I ruined a good thing???

“We self sabotage the great things in our lives because deep down we don’t feel worthy of having those great things.” – Taressa Riazzi

 

I was reminded recently of a Facebook post I saw a few months ago. Here’s what it said,
“She was 19. I was 23. I could start fires with what I felt for her. Then it hit me. I remember the day my soul whispered, “She’s the one.” Finding your spouse is not the step-by-step process we’d like it to be. But ladies … don’t settle for a boy. Wait for a man who treats you like an investment, not a test drive. A man who looks beyond your outer beauty and falls in love with your inner soul. But most of all, a man who doesn’t expect anything until he’s give you everything. No man is perfect. But honor, integrity, and respect are not optional for men, they are essential.”

 

So, why is the hitting home today and has me writing after 5 months of silence?

 

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My [Authentic] Voice: Unsensored and Vulnerable

I was skimming through an old journal today and came across an entry that resonated once again. It was dated May 11, 2015, opened with a prayer verse followed by notes reflecting on Brené Brown’s TEDtalk, The Power of Vulnerability. Brown has spent over a decade researching shame and vulnerability. She’s studied human behavior, emotions, and reactions. Since she gave her talk in 2010, The Power of Vulnerability has been viewed over 6 million times! So, I think it’s safe to say, she and I are not alone in our battles of shame, worthlessness, and finding comfort in being vulnerable.

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Starting with the (Wo)Man in the Mirror

“Oh, don’t do Tinder, I hear that’s just for hook-ups, have you tried Bumble?”  

“Swiping apps are so superficial, why don’t you do Match.com or eHarmony, I hear they’re better … I mean they’ve got to be better quality and more serious because they’re paying a membership fee.”

 “Have you thought about ChristianMingle.com?”

If I’ve heard these comments once, I’ve heard them 1,000 times! I know my family and friends all mean well and I know it’s coming from a place of love because they care, but it’s not that simple. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Coffee meets Bagel, Match.com, eHarmony, ChristianMingle.com, OK Cupid … I’ve tried them all and one thing remains true … the platform doesn’t matter, it’s all about the man behind the screen. Unfortunately, the screen has allowed for guys (and girls – I’m not naive) to become lazy, rude, and disrespectful. We’ve grown accustomed to surface level relationships and acceptance of dismissing people when things become uncomfortable. I wish there was a Yelp!-like site for singles – what I wouldn’t give to review some of the jokers I’ve gone on dates with. Alas, this doesn’t exist (yet … I’m sure there’s some start-up genius working on it) so how do I sort the men from the boys? 

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Three’s a Curse

Trending lately on social media has been to “Describe Yourself in 3 Fictional Characters”. Three. Remember this number, it has relevance later, but I digress. I’ve always enjoyed these little trends, they’re fun, quirky, and can be comical while still allowing you to be pretty damn direct about things. So, who are my three fictional characters?

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Buzzing About the Queen City

Growing up, my father always told me my name meant “honeybee of the meadow” and to remember that honeybees produce honey from the dirt and pollen they encounter throughout their lives. It was his way of teaching me that through a little hard work and the right perspective, you have the power to make anything sweeter. Why he didn’t just go with the old “turn lemons into lemonade” approach, I’ll never know. That just tells you a little bit about the kind of man my father is. More to come on that front at a later date.

Well, according to my findings on the internet – which we all know is omniscient – my name means “from the wood of the royal forest” or “from the royal fortress meadow”. So, I guess my father wasn’t completely off! Despite my eye-rolling attitude towards the meaning, I’ve always been fond of the honeybee reference because it reminds me to savor the sweet moments and memories life has to offer. “Honey moments”, if you will. And, as life would have it, I live in the beautiful city of Charlotte, NC, affectionately known as the Queen City. Seems only fitting that bees have their Queen ;).

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