Have I ruined a good thing???

“We self sabotage the great things in our lives because deep down we don’t feel worthy of having those great things.” – Taressa Riazzi

 

I was reminded recently of a Facebook post I saw a few months ago. Here’s what it said,
“She was 19. I was 23. I could start fires with what I felt for her. Then it hit me. I remember the day my soul whispered, “She’s the one.” Finding your spouse is not the step-by-step process we’d like it to be. But ladies … don’t settle for a boy. Wait for a man who treats you like an investment, not a test drive. A man who looks beyond your outer beauty and falls in love with your inner soul. But most of all, a man who doesn’t expect anything until he’s give you everything. No man is perfect. But honor, integrity, and respect are not optional for men, they are essential.”

 

So, why is the hitting home today and has me writing after 5 months of silence?

 

I had an eye-opening moment last week when I literally made myself sick (complete with fever) because I was so worked up with anxiety and worry that I may have self-sabotaged a relationship I was excited to see grow. I’m really scared I screwed up a good thing and that has me downtrodden. I don’t know yet if things are finished for good, but I can’t ignore they seem to have come to a halt. What I do know is I can’t change it and I can’t fix it. All I can do is pray. Pray that I’m wrong. Pray for serenity in knowing I can’t control the outcome. And pray for patience and courage as I wait to see how the chips may fall.

 

While I wait, I’ve been wondering a lot about “my list/deal-breakers” and my standards. Are they too much? Too high? Are my expectations unrealistic? After all, I’ve been the common denominator in my failed attempts of dating and I need to snap out of my “Taylor Swift” way of thinking. At least that’s what the pessimist in me would say. But, in the spirit of trying to think positively … I’m choosing to focus on these motivational statements.

 

xoxo, Queen Bee
Cautiously #Nesting

 

  • Don’t settle for a love that doesn’t fill you to the brim with passion and desire. Don’t settle for a love that isn’t balanced.
  • Don’t settle for someone who can’t make your stomach fill with butterflies because you’re scared to be alone and you’re scared to live without him.
  • Date someone who makes you feel like the world finally makes sense, someone who makes you feel like you’re home, someone who makes you understand why it didn’t workout with anyone else, someone who makes all the previous heart breaks not seem so bad or feel so painful.
  • Date someone who is afraid to lose you and treats you like he’s still trying to win over your heart everyday.
  • You deserve someone who is going to smile when he opens his eyes and you’re the first person he sees. You deserve someone who is going to make you feel like you’re the luckiest girl in the world. You deserve someone who is never going to stop treating you like a priority.
  • You should never date someone who puts you on the back burner. You should never date the guy who makes you an after thought or keeps you hanging around with no intentions of loving you forever.
  • Love is a balance, it’s an agreement to work towards growing together every day. As much as you deserve to have him love you like he’s going to lose you, you should also love him like you’re going to lose him, too.
  • Date someone who makes you feel better on your bad days, someone who makes you smile through the tears and someone who comforts you after a long, hard fight because at the end of the day you know you need each other.
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