Straight Outta RomCom Hell

One thing I’m often asked is, “What’s the worst or craziest date you’ve had?” Truthfully, I can’t single out any one date because all those that comes to mind are equally awful in different ways. Below are three Hall-of-Famers (names have been changed, of course).

Enjoy the laughs,
Queen Bee #Nesting


It was a normal week and the dating status had been #WorkerBee for a while so I had stepped my game up and started #BuzzingAbout on Tinder and Bumble. This guy Steve and I matched and we started talking. We didn’t do a whole lot of small talk but just got the point and made plans to meet in person. I was heading to Clemson for the weekend (Go Tigers!) so we decided to grab a drink when I got back Sunday night.

It’s a date. Sunday, 7pm, Sycamore Brewery.

Steve was new to Charlotte, having just moved to the area for a new job. He was kind, yet straight forward. It was refreshing. As we were talking leading up to the date, he mentioned I should bring Bear, my 100lb Alaskan Malamute, to the date – he’d love to meet him.

Okay, so this should have been flag number 1. For those who don’t know what a malamute is – google it. As you can imagine, mals are ‘exotic’ breeds in the south. When I take him out in public, he draws a lot of attention as he’s extremely sociable and people want to pet him and ask questions.  Because of this, I only have myself to blame here – I should have said no, he could meet him another time.

Alas, I’m on my way to Sycamore with Bear in tow. We arrive and I text Steve to say we’ve arrived. He’s already inside waiting by the bar. Initial greetings go well, we order beers, and head outside to get to know each other. And then it begins …

People begin approaching us to pet/meet Bear. I did my best to be polite to them while still focusing my attention on Steve. This was not easy! Especially because I have to be honest – I wasn’t really that into him. Sometimes, there just isn’t anything there. However, I believe you do the dutiful thing and you stick the evening out. At least through one beer, right?! WRONG!

One girl in particular really struck up a conversation with us. Then, Steve, with 1/3 of his beer left, excused himself to the bathroom … AND NEVER RETURNED. Yup, you guessed it – the ‘ole Irish exit via the bathroom. I got a text from him 30 minuets later saying, “Hey, I’m really sorry but I just started feeling really light headed.  I think I’m dehydrated. I am going to head home.  Nice to meet u.”

#AtLeastHePaidTheTab; which is a great segue into my next Hall of Famer…


This story is pretty short. First date at Ed’s Tavern for trivia night. He texted that he arrived a little early and was already there. I was about 10 minuets behind him. When I arrived I saw he was already two beers in. Flag #1…

As the night goes on, He kept getting a phone call. He apologized and said it was his bank and he needed to take this. However, he didn’t excuse himself from the table … he took the call at the table. #Awkward! Flag #2…

Turns out his bank was cutting him off and canceling his credit card. He was pleading with them to not suspend the card because he was on a date and needed to use it this evening. He continued, emphasizing he only has one credit card and he doesn’t have any cash. I’ll spare you the details, but he swindled things with the bank so that he was able to cover the bill … oh! and he’s about 5 beers in at this point. Flag #3…

Then comes the real kicker … he had UBERed to the date and his one and only credit card that was just cut off is what’s linked to his UBER account. How was he to get home? Here’s a bright idea, I’ll ask my date to drive me home! Um … that’s a negative. I saw an opening and I jetted out of there. For all I know, he’s still at Ed’s.

Now, to some of you, 2 beers in by the time your date arrives and 5-6 beers total through the night may not seem like a big deal. A few things I’d like to remind you of: (a) This was a first date (b) who has no debit card and only one credit card to their name? (c) UBER(ummm, no license?) and (d) paired with his behavior throughout the night … My conclusion: alcoholic.

Unfortunately, I know all to well the behaviors of an alcoholic and it’s something I’m very in tune with. My brother began drinking at the age of 15 and has battled the bottle ever since. It’s been a struggle I’ve been forced to deal with since I was 11 years old and I’m finally at a point in my life where I’ve broken free of allowing his behaviors and actions to effect my life. I can’t willing bring another alcoholic into my life. Does that make me selfish? Yes, and I’m okay with that.

If You D.A.R.E.:

Let me start off by saying, I had a pretty sheltered upbringing. The hardest thing I faced was the realities of my brother as mentioned above. Aside from that, I was and remain a very fortunate person. I thank God everyday for my wonderful, loving parents, my friends that have lasted a lifetime, and the many opportunities I’ve had along the way through my education and career. #blessed

Because of my sheltered upbringing, you can imagine I was the “Doris Day” type. As one friend put it, my life is “TV normal”. So, I’m sure it’s of no surprise that drugs were never a reality to me. I knew they existed and I knew people used, but it was as real to my reality as living on Mars.

So what does all this have to do with a date? It suddenly became very much my reality!

Clark and I met for drinks and apps on a Friday night at Sir Edmund Halley’s – a great little Irish Pub off the beaten path. We were having a great time. Conversation was flowing easily, there was chemistry and mutual interest. No red flags … none. The vibe of the venue was a little dull, though. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a huge fan of Sir Ed’s, it was just an off night. So, we decided to relocate and continue the evening in Plaza Midwood. We closed out and headed to our cars. He asked if I’d like to ride with him and he’d bring me back to my car at the end of the evening. I didn’t see any reason to decline.

As we began driving towards Plaza Midwood, I ask where he’d like to go – which restaurant. He’s replies,

“Oh, we can figure that out once we get to my place.” uh? Did I miss something?

“Your place? Why are we stopping by your place?” …

“Oh, you know – figured we could do a little cocaine.” … *doe-eyed*, he must be joking …

(through giggles) “That’s funny, no, really, why are we stopping by your place?” … he goes straight-faced, no hint of joking or laughter

“To do cocaine.”

“Are you F-ing kidding me?! No!”

That pretty much ended the evening. I kept my cool and just demanded he take me back to my car. Thankfully, he did. When I think back, the situation could have been so much worse. The whole drive back to my care, he was apologetic and wanted to reinforce how it’s just a little fun and it’s never around his daughter. (Yes, he has a 6 year old daughter with whom he shares 50% custody!) If you have cocaine at your house and your daughter lives with you 50% of the time … it’s around your daughter. If you do cocaine and you’re in your daughter’s life at all … it’s around your daughter. Not Okay.

While I can look back and laugh about it now, this date really shook me for a while. I went into a pretty lengthy #WorkerBee mode. Thanks to Clark, I’m much less trusting of men until I get to know them better.


3 thoughts on “Straight Outta RomCom Hell

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