Growing up, my father always told me my name meant “honeybee of the meadow” and to remember that honeybees produce honey from the dirt and pollen they encounter throughout their lives. It was his way of teaching me that through a little hard work and the right perspective, you have the power to make anything sweeter. Why he didn’t just go with the old “turn lemons into lemonade” approach, I’ll never know. That just tells you a little bit about the kind of man my father is. More to come on that front at a later date.
Well, according to my findings on the internet – which we all know is omniscient – my name means “from the wood of the royal forest” or “from the royal fortress meadow”. So, I guess my father wasn’t completely off! Despite my eye-rolling attitude towards the meaning, I’ve always been fond of the honeybee reference because it reminds me to savor the sweet moments and memories life has to offer. “Honey moments”, if you will. And, as life would have it, I live in the beautiful city of Charlotte, NC, affectionately known as the Queen City. Seems only fitting that bees have their Queen ;).
So, this is where I’ll begin. I’m 29 years old and I’m single. The big 3-0 is just around the corner (in T-minus 2 months)! Like most singles these days, I’ve turned to the world of online dating with hopes of meeting that special someone. Now, if you’ve heard anything about online dating, I’m sure you can ascertain the amount of entertainment that occurs – both the imaginable and the unimaginable … and believe me, I have some stories to share! My friends and family have listened to the good, the bad, and the ugly. They all seem to end our conversations with the same thing: “You really should write a book or a blog or something!”
Queen Bee, Blogger … What the hell, why not?!
So, here I am! I know you may be thinking, “oh great, another girl whining about her dating life … we’ve heard it before. What else is new?” What’s new is today’s dating landscape. It’s something that’s never been seen before. Where do I even start? I think a list seems appropriate:
- Carefree, Careless. It’s a game of who has the power … and it’s always the person who cares the least. #AloofnessWins. Good luck deciphering whether it’s a “I have zero interest in you” careless or a “I’m trying really hard to play it cool so you don’t realize how into you I am” carefree.
- May The Odds be Ever in Your Favor. Remain aloof as long as possible. This means NEVER text back with 24 hrs … EVER. He might think you like him (gasp!)
- TEXTING = Death to communication. Phone calls: Filed under “I don’t use my phone for that.” #Email #Txt #Snap #Tweet #Facebook #DirectMessageIG but for the love of Carly Rae Jepsen … #CallMe-Never.
- Calling Monica Geller – are you there? Making plans seems to be the black plague these days. I don’t want to seem too eager and what if something better comes along … I better keep my options open. #Maybe #Let’sSee #I’llLetYouKnow
- Casper isn’t so friendly after all. Ghosting … #HowRude!
- Case in point: Cevan … or is it Evanly? The only difference between sweet/romantic and creepy stalker is this subjective thing called attractiveness.
- Netflix and Chill. The booty call. You’ve never met the guy. You’ve been texting a bit for a few days and now it’s Saturday night. You’re out with your girls when he text. You get butterflies … until you read, “Let’s chill” (or in one case, even a *bleep* pic! – yes, really!) and you check your watch and see it’s past 10pm. #SeeYaNever!
- Layaway. As my aunt once told me, online dating is like saying, “You know, I really like you, but I don’t want to commit because someone better may come along. So, I just want to string you along and keep you in the corner while I continue shopping the market.”
- Social Media is the best therapist. We all turn to status post to indirectly make a blatantly directed comment to our partner.
In the past, sex wasn’t often on the table, at least not on a first date. Most people were dating because they wanted relationships. Facebook official wasn’t a thing. There weren’t as many arbitrary rules that people are meant to follow. There was once a certain date-etiquette. There’s more for us to balance. The list can go on and on…. In the words of Sweet P (my 2-year old niece), “You can google it”.
Today, I’ll leave you with the words of Carrie Bradshaw, “When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometime you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. and in life, there’s no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”
xo, Queen Bee #BuzzingAbout