“We self sabotage the great things in our lives because deep down we don’t feel worthy of having those great things.” – Taressa Riazzi
I was skimming through an old journal today and came across an entry that resonated once again. It was dated May 11, 2015, opened with a prayer verse followed by notes reflecting on Brené Brown’s TEDtalk, The Power of Vulnerability. Brown has spent over a decade researching shame and vulnerability. She’s studied human behavior, emotions, and reactions. Since she gave her talk in 2010, The Power of Vulnerability has been viewed over 6 million times! So, I think it’s safe to say, she and I are not alone in our battles of shame, worthlessness, and finding comfort in being vulnerable.
“Oh, don’t do Tinder, I hear that’s just for hook-ups, have you tried Bumble?”
“Swiping apps are so superficial, why don’t you do Match.com or eHarmony, I hear they’re better … I mean they’ve got to be better quality and more serious because they’re paying a membership fee.”
“Have you thought about ChristianMingle.com?”
If I’ve heard these comments once, I’ve heard them 1,000 times! I know my family and friends all mean well and I know it’s coming from a place of love because they care, but it’s not that simple. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Coffee meets Bagel, Match.com, eHarmony, ChristianMingle.com, OK Cupid … I’ve tried them all and one thing remains true … the platform doesn’t matter, it’s all about the man behind the screen. Unfortunately, the screen has allowed for guys (and girls – I’m not naive) to become lazy, rude, and disrespectful. We’ve grown accustomed to surface level relationships and acceptance of dismissing people when things become uncomfortable. I wish there was a Yelp!-like site for singles – what I wouldn’t give to review some of the jokers I’ve gone on dates with. Alas, this doesn’t exist (yet … I’m sure there’s some start-up genius working on it) so how do I sort the men from the boys?